And the journey continues

I am continuing my story so that everyone understands where I am right now in my life! My life continue as normal, go every 6 months for a check up and I am cleared everytime. Well then this year I go for my last 6 month check up, and the doctor is quite happy with my progress and then he tells me it is time to plan for a baby, well after the HSG results it was discovered that my right tube is completely blocked. So now I am there at my precious Dr.'s office and I am going for my papsmear. He finishes the smear and now it is time for an internal scan, and what do we have here two damn cysts (one on the right and one on the left). He says well the one on the left is quite small, but the one the right is a bit bigger, I will have to return in 3 months for a check up, not to worry he is sure it will be gone by then, so leave his office a bit flustered by this dreadful news but I keep on repeating his words "I would'nt worry about it too much, I am sure it will be gone soon". So off I go to spread the bad news and make sure to warn everyone that it is nothing to worry about. So exactly 3 months later I return to my favorite place. Sjoe the wait is always a pain, but we sit each and everyone in their own world, most of the women sitting there are pregnant and there sits pathetic me. Eventually it is my turn, and there it is this big round thing 3cm's big, now I am worried and so is my doctor. I get dressed and now we gonna have the talk, what to do next. Well my doctor was ready with what he wanted to say, schedule me next week to have it removed. I feel a bit hot but I listen tentatively to everything his saying, am I listening not sure everything is just happening too fast for me. I calm down and tell myself this is for your own good, nothing to worry about. Now facing the family, I feel my husband thinks I am some kinda freak he married (always something wrong). Once again I find the strength within and I handle my business. Now I have to deal with the darn medical aid. Me and DH spent a few days of calling the medical aid, eventually they agreed to pay a portion, sjoe I am relieved cos this is the last thing I want to worry about when laying on that operating table. So I go in on the 27th May for my 2nd Lap, once again my wonderful husband is by my side every step of the way. I go into theatre at about 5pm not sure what time I came out but damn it was long, feeling very woozie, then I hear the bad news have to stay overnight in hospital. Now let me tell you about that was that one hectic evening. I passed out so many times that night, heaven knows I remembered my name. Well I survived the night and Dh is by my side again the next morning waiting to take me home. Home I need to go home, I hate hospitals and I hate their food (some private hospitals are terrible). Two weeks of misery at home, recovery was very slow for me, so I go back for my check up after 6 weeks and the dr says well it was a normal fluid cyst not cancerous, and I am like phew am I lucky or what! So he says it's time for you to be a mommy, but when he was busy with me he noticed that both my tubes are blocked and the only chance of me falling pregnant will be with IVF. I ask GOD why are you punishing me, what did I do to deserve this. I have overcome all the hurdles you put before me, what do I have to do just to be a mommy? So many women do and get it right on the first try. Here I am 3 years later and nothing nada, just one dissappointment after the other. Please GOD please make me a mommy. So now we are at the end of wits, we don't really have the finances to go to a private clinic because IVF is so damn expensive and what if it doesn't work the first time we will not be able to afford to go again, is this the end for us!