The first challenge

The year we got married was bliss until 2 months later, earlier that year I went for my first papsmear at the time I was working at a lab. My results came back and there were some abnormalities, nothing to really worry about the doctor said, but I should come for a follow up exam 6 months later. So I did not read much into it cos come on I am the patient and she is the doctor she knows exactly what she is talking about.

So there I find myself 6 months later back on that dreadful table, it passes so quick and I am out of there in no time. A day later the lovely doctor calls me on my cellphone while I am at work and gives me the bad news, she refers me to another gynae and I get an appointment for the same week the friday. So here I am at work all flustered because I had no idea what all of this meant, but I knew it wasn't good at all. So I decide to go to the results department at our lab and ask some ladies for advise there. The lady in charge there refuses to help me and says to speak to my doctor. At this stage ladies I thought oh well no use beating yourself up about it, just relax and wait to speak to this gynae, the worst part of it all is that it is a male uuuurrrrgggghhhh how embarrassing for me. So that friday I go like a good old girl and this man does an internal exam (I hated every second of it). He explains the results to me: I was diagnosed with CINIII (cancerous cells on the cervix), which he will have to remove by doing a laparoscopy, so hey now I am totally stunned with all this information. He says they have to do it as soon as possible because mine has spread fast over the 3 months. So I am scheduled for my first lap in October 2005, a bit nervous but being very brave. So from there I go to work like a brave warrior and pretend that everything is okay and that I can handle it all on my own. My husband calls and wants to know what the doctor says, so I politely tell him that we should speak about it at home.

Eventually I go for the Lap and my husband, mother and sister accompanies me to hospital but half of the time only my husband could be at my bedside. Finally it is my turn to go down that dreaded elevator with two people in scrubs escorting me (pushing my bed). Before I knew it I was out and back in the ward where my husband was patiently waiting with the biggest smile ever. At that moment that was the best thing for me seeing my love there. Everything was okay and I was discharged that same night but not before my gynae paid me a visit to explain how the op went. This was the verdict: he removed part of my cervix sent it to the lab for testing and will wait for the results, but while he was busy he discovered that my tubes were blocked and he worked a bit on them, but as soon as I am well, he will schedule a HSG for me. Not taking anything in yet at this point just saying yes, my husband is at my side and what goes through my head? How is he handling this,what does this mean for us, will I be able to have a baby?