It's back again......

Fear..... excitement, I have no idea, but I find myself feeling flustered sometimes....... this journey has had me through so many emotions and at the moment it is thrilling, agonising, nerveracking all in one. Gosh I am trying so hard not to think about it but it is so damn difficult. I find myself counting the days everyday, checking when will ER take place, when will ET take place, damn!!!!! All I know is my heart keeps on breaking when a family member or a friend is pregnant and when I hear a child say "mommy" I feel those tears welling up in my eyes, my thoughts always "will I ever hear those words". I go on everyday pretending that life is normal, i work, I try and be a great wife and that is it. I strive to become a mother and a damn good one but will I ever get the chance to be a mom, I few weeks ago I was sooooo positive, not that I am negative but this journey has so many emotions going at the same time it's just damn crazy that we are all still sane! I consider myself a fairly emotional strong person but ladies that has been tried and tested and I promise you ladies this is tough!!!! I pray that this IVF would be my BFP and that I can be the MOM I longed to be. I pray that all the ladies that are travelling this tough road that you will get that amazing BFP and a healthy pregnancy. THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!!!!